My biggest personal weakness in terms of my character, is my indecisiveness. I have a really hard time making big decisions. Every new years, my resolution is to be more decisive. But I suppose I have never really figured out a way to practice that. So, it has never really improved.
I made the decision a few weeks ago not to go to the world cup 100km in Belgium. My reasoning at the time made perfect sense in my head. But in the week following, I have been wondering if that was really a dumb move. Here I am, presented with this amazing opportunity to go to Belgium, somewhere I have never been, with a group of amazing individuals, to compete in a world competition and run against the best in the world, and I said NO? It isn't the right timing? I MIGHT qualify for a race I want to do, but am not dying to do? It's close to my 100km May 2nd and will I be recovered? Those were all my reasons.
The last few days I have been in a bit of a slump. Just a bit sad. Sometimes that happens to women (around that time of the month) and usually I can blame it on that, but I honestly think part of it is because I wish I had just said YES. I won't lie and say that there wasnt an influence on this change of mind. I was reading an article in Ultra Running magazine. There was an article/intervview on Kami Semick who was named Ultrarunner of the year for 2008. She came 2nd at the world cup 100km last year in Italy. She said how much she loved doing these world cup races and how much fun they are. How awesome it is to be part of a team and test yourself against the best in the world. She is also doing Miwok and 5 weeks later is going to the world cup. That sort of shot down my whole- will I be recovered bit excuse. In terms of my western states reasoning. Sure, I would love to do Western, but I have been putting so much pressure on myself to come top 3 at miwok to qualify. It's really driving me nuts. Why give up a sure thing (world cup), for something that isn't. Besides, if I didn't qualify, I probably would be kicking myself knowing that in 5 weeks I could be on a plane to Belgium!!!!!
Right now, as I am still 24 years old for the next 4 days, I need to look at each race as an experience. Something that I can learn from. An experience that is going to make me a better athlete 3-5 years from now.
So to round all this up. I e-mailed the Team Canada Organizer Armand Leblanc, letting him know I was still interested. He replied and said as it is still early, I might be able to make an amendment and add you to the team". So in the words of Jim Carey from dumb and dumber- SO YOUR TELLING ME THERE'S A CHANCE!!!!
We shall see what comes of it, but I am glad I gave it a second chance and didn't pass this amazing opportunity up. I'm going for a run, enjoy the day!!
2 comments:
I am super indecisive too, so I can totally relate to all you wrote. But, I guess we got to look at it this way, this is just the start of our running. We'll have many more opportunities, so like you said just enjoy. Looking forward to seeing you at Miwok! (By the way, don't second guess yourself. My mom once told me there is no such thing as a bad choice. In the end, they're just choices. Even though I write that, I still struggle too :)).
Hi Nicola, Found you thru Gary's site. Nice to see another lower mainland trail runner girl!
I say GO FOR IT! Us women are bad at second guessing ourselves due to lack of confidence...which you shouldn't have cuz it looks like you are a fabulous runner!.. and you are so young! I'm 40, and my twenties are so far away!! I wish I found trail running in my 20s.
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