Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dirty Little Secret

The other morning as I was getting ready to go to work, I dusted off my old ghetto blaster. Yes, the one I got in elementary school, that quickly turned into a canvas I painted with nail polish. I nail polished the names of my favorite artists at the time (1) Puff Daddy (2) Mase and (3) Usher- there all shimmered up in glitter. Oh, those were the days! My radio dial was set to the beat 94.5 with Nira Orora and Kid Carson. They were discussing a website they heard about where people divulge their deepest and darkest secrets anonymously. They took a few callers who were telling them their most sacred secrets. The first girl called and Nira says:

"hello? tell us your secret"

and the girl says:

"I wake up feeling alone every single day of my life"

The two hosts were kind of silent for a few seconds as they seemed shocked and were at a loss for words. Nira says:

"Well do you feel better now having told everyone"

"well sorta"

With that, they quickly got to a new caller. The other secrets were a little bit happier as one caller had just won set for life and hadn't told anyone yet. The first caller however, just left me feeling saddened. With all that we have in this world and all that is available to us, how can she feel so alone? I wake up every morning feeling so blessed that I have my health, a great support network, and that my backyard is my playground. Now I know everyone is not as fortunate as this but if you have been waking up EVERY SINGLE DAY (that's a lot of days) feeling lonely, I think it's time to wake up and do something about it! Don't waste life, embrace what you have, and do the best you can.

That was a rant that was leading into my little secret. I have always found this one a bit funny based on my lifestyle nowadays, and I thought you all might like to hear it. I was a very active kid but I will admit I was a lazy active kid. In elementary and high school I didn't get the best grades and I didn't always give 100%. Phys Ed was my favorite class but even in that I found myself cheating. I remember this one time Mr. Heer told us to run across the field and back into the gym. It honestly would have taken 4 minutes max. I decided to go hide out in the woodlot instead, wait for everyone to come back, and then re-join the group. Of course, I got caught, kicked out of class, and he immediately dropped me a letter grade. I really looked up to Mr.heer and I'll never forget the day he came to my Drama class and pulled me aside to tell me how disapointed he was in me. He was a teacher I really looked up to and respected and It made me feel horrible to have let him and myself down.

I'd love to say that I learned my lesson and that was the last time I cheated on a run, but 2 years later our middle school class from Balmoral merged with Carson Graham. I signed up for the strength and conditioning class. Perhaps I surrounded myself with equally as lazy people but there I was again, going for our typical 10 minute run around the block with a friend of mine (she was on my basketball team). I must have been really tired that day (right?) and found myself just walking down one of the blocks trying to kill time before enough had passed that we could go back. Of course, our teacher, Mr. Buchanan is not an idiot and he was walking the blocks near the school just looking for cheaters. Then he saw us, kicked us out of class and threatened to never let us back in. Thank god he did and from that moment forward I never cheated on a run again.

Maybe all this running I do now is pay-back for all the time I spent being lazy. It's weird for me to call myself lazy because I was always playing varsity sports, that practiced 5-6x/wk. But I never did give it my all. I had natural talent which allowed me to slack a little bit. I have always been told "you have so much potential". It has only been in the last few years since I started running that I am truly trying to give it my all. I want to know what my athletic potential is. I want to be great! That all stems from attitude and hard work. There were always girls who were just as talented as me in sports when I was younger. But the difference was, they worked and practiced harder and it showed as I got older.

With that, I am off for a run! Enjoy the day!


garobbins said...

Nice posting Gilder...or should I call you Rosie...

garobbins said...

Dammit!! I just did myself in for using the internet again today...God I suck...why the hell did I ever tell everyone about this!!

Nicola Gildersleeve said...

I thought I saw that you had deleted that blog? I am confused about the rosie part?

garobbins said...

I don't think I deleted anything, figured I'd get caught either way so didn't bother!
Rosie Ruiz...taking shortcuts...