LIVING TRUTHFULLY & FEELING ALIVE

Last night, after 4 months had gone by, I finally went back to Yoga! There was really no good reason as to why I had stopped going but I was choosing to do other things. But, being back in class reminded me so much of why I love yoga and the benefits I see in my body/mind after I leave, always with a smile on my face. I am really enjoying The Yoga Studio in Squamish. It's nothing fancy (no YYOGA), as it is simply one room (and a 1 stall bathroom), but I really like it this way. Simple.

Little to me knowledge, my 5 time pass I bought back in December had actually expired. I was pretty bummed but Lydia, the teacher, let me extend it for another month. I wanted to send her a thank you e-mail and was searching for their contact info on the website. I also stumbled upon the bios of all the teachers and as I was perusing something kind of struck my eye. One of the teachers was saying how yoga makes her live more 'truthfully'. I know I have heard this term before but this time I was intruiged and wanted to dive deeper into it's meaning. I asked myself, "What does it really mean to live truthfully?".

This morning I decided to google it. Perhaps, that's the cheat way! Here is one phrase I found from Mary Rhee...

"By living truthfully, we live a life true to our intent and what we stand for"

Then I stumbled upon another page that discusses what it means to "have lived".

This one for me is very interesting and I have brought it up to Peter many times because I can pin point exactly when I started to feel this way. The moment I felt that I started "living my life" was when I started running, which wasn't until 2004/2005. I can remember it very vividly because it was after I stopped playing basketball for Cap College.

I was a free soul and began going on all these self adventures. Now, to begin, these adventures were small in scale compared to some of the things I have done more recently but the feelings of joy I got from them remain the same. While out running on the sea wall as part of the Sugoi photoshoot on Monday, I watched dozens of roller bladers whip past me. I couldn't help but reminisce...

At the tender age of 20, (HA!) I got a full service restaurant job at The Macaroni Grill downtown on Davie Street. I was still living in North Vancouver at the time. It was around this time that I bought a new pair of roller blades and yes, I am pretty sure roller blading was deemed uncool at this point in time. I hadn't roller bladed since I was a kid and I can't even remember why I decided to start roller blading again, but I digress...

This mode of transportation served as a platform for my daily adventures to work. I would blade from home- down the highway, over the Liongs Gate Bridge, and at that point, I would take off my blades, put shoes on and run down to the Stanly Park Seawall (gravel trail) and put my blades back on. From there I would blade around the sea wall all the way back to Davie Street in English Bay. Everytime I did this I felt alive and I guess you could say I was living truthfully. I didn't care that people thought roller blading was uncool because in the end, I was 100% happier than any of those people. I was doing what made me happy. Side note- I also had a friend, one of my closest, who also had a pair of blades and we would adventure together. I loved the feeling of just ripping around the sea wall at top speed or going for blades with Megs through the demonstration forest, surrounded by trees.

It was also around this time that I began training for a marathon, another experience that made me feel like I was living my life. Roller blading adentures were soon replaced with running adventures and this time, I had many more friends to share these experiences with. Eventually road runs were replaced with mountain runs and an entirely new love affair was born.

I will forever thank running for making me feel this way, for giving me an outlet to adventure, to feel alive. I don't think I have always stayed true to my heart with running and that is something I have personally struggled with in the past year or so. To further explain what I mean, I think simply, my running adventures have not always been my own. It's the creativity of a run or an adventure that makes you feel so good about it. For example, I really want to run from Squamish to North Vancouver or from West Vancouver to Powell River. These types of adventures would be very satisfying because they are my own and I chose them.

I think in the past year or so, I had stopped being creative and perhaps was just going with the flow, choosing races because that's what used to make me feel alive with my running. Somewhere along the way, races stopped giving me the satisfaction I was used to, and I think I simply ignored those feelings. I also stopped coming up with self motivated adventures and was just in training mode. I've since realised this and have been working at keeping that spark alive. Running does have a special place in my heart and without it, I am not the same person.

I think in the end, we all need to be true to ourselves and when we are not, we need to look deep inside and ask ourselves the question: Am I living truthfully? Do I feel Alive? There are times in life where we can lose ourselves and it takes a lot of guts and courage to aknowledge it and change it.

I ask you, What does living truthfully and honestly, mean to you?

What makes you feel alive?

Have a happy Tuesday!!!! Adventure onward!