Thursday, May 7, 2009

Do they have 'Decision making school"?

If so, I'd like to enroll...

Hands down, my biggest personality "needs improvement" (I chose that word over 'weakness') is in my indecisiveness. I think I let other people influence my decision making process's a bit too much. It all started a little over a month ago when I found out I was selected to be on the world cup 100km team. I was stoked to have been selected but soon realized that the race fell at a really bad time. I had signed up for a bunch of other races that I was REALLY looking forward to going out and rocking. I was set up to race direct Summer Solstice 1/2 and full trail marathon (my first race directing experience). I haven't been working much since I left my job at the end of December, so finances weren't looking good for a $1200 ticket to Belgium. I was worried about recovery time from the Miwok 100km which is 6 weeks prior to the world cup. If I went to the world cup, I would have wanted to give my all and do as well as I could, knowing I had put in enough training time it would take to succeed. So a million and one things that were preventing me from wanting to go...I had made up my mind...I wasn't going!

Then all of a sudden, I had close family and friends tell me what a dumb decision that was and that this is a chance of a lifetime..."don't worry about the money"..."You can't pass up an opportunity like this"...etc. So I thought more about it and chose to listen to everyone else and asked if I could still be on the team.

This one race has been causing me more stress and anxiety than any other...
I have been dreading this blog because I look like I'm crazy, going back on myself again. But, to be honest, ever since I told them i wasn't in fact going to be joining the team, I have been so stress free. I had been having some hip pain going into Miwok 100. Thankfully, it didn't bother me during the race but there is no way I am going to be able to put the miles or the specificity of training in, during the next 5 weeks to go out and race 'the way I want to' in Belgium...and not come out injured or be wiped for the rest of the summer race season.

Don't get me wrong, I am going to try and make it on the team for next year. The race is in November (2010) which is a much more ideal time for a road race, since I tend to run more trail throughout the summer. I also know exactly when the race is going to take place over a year before it is happening. I didn't even find out about the world cup in Belgium until March 25th, very short notice. In the end, I had to follow my heart, which was telling me it wasn't in it this time.

For those who are going, I hope you kick some serious ass. Devon, I'm routing for you (even though your on team U.S.A).


Jo Lynn said...

Hey! I was at Tennessee Valley Aid Station. You went through at mile 11.6 and 58.4. If you look at my blog, a couple days back, there is a post about it, with photos. You can see if you saw me in my bright pink jacket. I was calling out numbers of the runners when they came through and I gave extra loud cheers for the girls. ;) How'd you do?

Devon said...

Nicola, good on you. I know sometimes it is harder to make a decision and then change your mind than just make the decision. I think you are smart to listen to your mind, body, spirit (and finances!). As ultradistance athletes, we pride ourselves on saying (and doing) "I can" and I think it makes it all the harder to say "I cannot" even when it is 100% the right decision. You don't look crazy at all, in fact I think your ability to assert yourself and declare your changed mind shows a whole lot of smarts. Good on you. I will miss you over there but look forward to seeing you in 2010 at Gibraltar (and of course at other races too in the meantime!)

MJ said...

I have a rule about race scheduling: Don't ever feel bad about changing your mind.

In the end, these sports are hard enough without feeling like you have to do something that your heart, mind or body isn't up for.

Save it for a race when all three are ready to go.

Good decision.